NAVIGATOR 25 | How Do I Make Sure My Wishes Are Honored When I Can't Speak For Myself?

A guide to dignity, clarity and care, for those without a spouse, and for anyone planning independently.

You CAN prepare...

No one wants to imagine the moment they can’t speak for themselves. Not because it’s morbid but, because it feels distant, uncomfortable, and easy to postpone.

Yet you’ve seen it. A friend whose parent entered the hospital suddenly. A sibling who had to guess about care. A family torn between “doing everything” and “doing what they would have wanted.”

The hardest part wasn’t death. It was uncertainty. You don’t want that for the people who care about you, especially if you don’t have a spouse automatically stepping in. You want clarity. You want dignity. You want your values to guide decisions even if you can’t.

The real question wasn’t “Which plan is best?” It was calmer and more practical: “How do I choose healthcare coverage that supports my life — now and in the years ahead — without unnecessary stress?”

WHAT THIS NAVIGATOR IS: A practical, humane guide to end-of-life planning for individuals — helping you clarify medical wishes, designate decision-makers, organize personal matters, and prepare loved ones to act with confidence rather than fear.

EXPANDED CHECKLIST

Decision-Making Authority

☐ Have I chosen a Health Care Power of Attorney (HCPOA)?

☐ Have I chosen a backup HCPOA?

☐ Do these people understand my values — not just my forms?

Medical Wishes

☐ Have I completed advance directives or a living will?

☐ Have I clarified preferences for life-prolonging treatment?

☐ Have I clarified comfort-focused care preferences?

☐ Do I understand what hospice actually provides?

Hospice & Care

☐ Do I know when hospice becomes appropriate?

☐ Have I expressed where I’d prefer to receive end-of-life care?

☐ Have I discussed pain management priorities?

Communication

☐ Have I told my decision-makers what matters most to me?

☐ Have I put this in writing in plain language?

Personal & Practical Matters

☐ Have I documented what to do with personal belongings?

☐ Have I identified items with emotional or family importance?

☐ Have I expressed preferences around memorials or services?

Financial & Legal Coordination

☐ Are my legal documents current and accessible?

☐ Does my executor know my wishes and priorities?

Family & Friends

☐ Have I identified who should be notified first?

☐ Have I clarified who should not be burdened with decisions?

Ethical Will & Voice

☐ Have I written or recorded a message to loved ones?

☐ Does it explain my values and reassure them?

Logistics & Access

☐ Are documents easy to find in an emergency?

☐ Are passwords and access instructions documented securely?

Review & Confidence

☐ Have I reviewed this plan in the last 2–3 years?

☐ Would my loved ones feel confident following this plan?

☐ Would this plan reduce fear rather than increase it?

HOW TO START THE CONVERSATION (LANGUAGE THAT WORKS)

Use gentle, non-dramatic language:

•  “I’m not sick — I just want to make things easier someday.”

• “This isn’t about now; it’s about clarity.”

• “I want you to know my wishes so you never have to guess.”

Good questions to ask yourself:

• What matters more than longevity?

• What would I want if comfort were the priority?

• Who do I trust to speak for me?

COMPREHENSIVE ACTION PLAN

1. Choose primary and backup healthcare decision-makers

2. Complete advanced directives and HCPOA

3. Learn what hospice and palliative care actually involve

4. Write a plain-language care preference letter

5. Organize documents and access instructions

6. Decide how personal items should be handled

7. Record or write an Ethical Will message

8. Review every few years or after major changes

YOUR NEXT STEPS

Today:

• Write down the name of the person you trust most to speak for you.

This Month:

• Complete or update healthcare directives.

• Write a one-page “What Matters to Me” document.

This Year:

• Share your wishes calmly with those involved.

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GENTIAN FINANCIAL | 12740 N River Road, Mequon WI 53092 | PH 262-518-7575 | www.gentianfinancial.com

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